Boink

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The Planet Boink

Boink is the adopted home planet of the Foozles, and the Delos.

History

Originally, it was simply known as World 319. The explorer who first discovered the planet found it to be a garden paradise, with plenty of animal and plant life, but no sentient indigenous lifeforms. A resort company known as Starlight Industries then purchased the planet, parcel by parcel, over several decades.

Eventually, they secured ownership of the entire planet, renamed it Xaria, and turned it into a resort world. Hotels, casinos, shopping plazas and swimming pools were constructed. Stretches of beach were turned into swimming areas. Terraforming was minimal.

The planet operated as a resort for nearly seventy years, becoming a popular destination for the rich and famous during its most active era.

But, eventually the galaxy settled into a recession, and reservations for luxury vacations began to dry up. With their resort world beginning to show its age, and quickly becoming a financial sinkhole, Starlight Industries, seeking to cut their losses, sold the planet on the open market. It was immediately snapped up by a consortium of Foozles.

These Foozles had been tasked with locating a potential Foozle homeworld, and were backed by a financial fund made up from donations supplied by Foozles scattered across the galaxy. After much discussion on the name, they settled on calling their new world "Boink,"[1] the name selected for being both cute, and sexual.

The Foozles then set about moving to and renovating their planet.

The Foozles would later welcome the Delos to their world, and the two races would combine to form the Libertine Union.

Culture

One of the orbital welcome signs.

Boink's culture is relaxed, casual and openly sexual.

As is to be expected of a world populated by living sextoys, Public nudity and public sex are both legal. The culture however, is one of a relaxed eroticism. Without societal taboos against sexuality, the world has never developed the frantic "get it now!" obsession with sex that permeates the more prudish corners of galactic society. A popular local phrase used to explain this is "You're at a buffet. Don't hurry and fill up on one thing, slow down, try a little bit of it all, take your time and just enjoy it."

The planet is open to galactic travel, and before reaching one of the orbital platforms surrounding the world, visitors will pass by lighted, hovering orbital welcome signs declaring "Welcome To Boink, Home planet of the Libertine Union. Clothing optional beyond this point."

Fashion and Etiquette

Public appearance, fashion and public etiquette are closely linked on Boink. They are more fully explored on their own page, here: Fashion and Etiquette

Notable Holidays

  • Zero Day - a celebration of Zero, the first Foozle
  • Boink Day - A day celebrating the purchase of and establishment of Boink
  • Oester - Boink's version of Easter, a fertility celebration
  • Trick And Treat - Boink's version of Halloween
  • XXXmas - Boink's version of Christmas

Design

When renovations of the aging resort buildings began, a decision was made that rather than updating the design, they would keep the outdated "groovy" deco of the existing constructions intact. They then adapted to it and built upon it with their own design language. This has given the planet a decidedly classic, retro-futuristic feel, in an architecture style that mixes the relaxed casualness of Midwest Modernism, with the bold geometric shapes of Brutalist design, and the playful futurism of Googie. The end result is somewhat akin to a late 1970's, early 1980's mall as designed by Syd Mead, featuring high ceilings, wood accents, carpeted walkways, patterned stone, tiled floors, large comfy furniture, fountains, steps and plants.

Where new construction was needed, it was designed to accent the environment without altering it, with some buildings including rooms where rockfaces intrude through walls and floors, where streambeds run through buildings, and where a system of subterranean caves have been turned into public, underground spaces.

Security

The planet is overseen by Boink Guard, who operate the orbital platforms, carry out visitor screening, maintain air traffic control, and perform planetary security duties.

Placenames

Locations on Boink have names which are primarily sexual in nature, though they have been chosen so that they still either sound like location names, or actually are existing location names that fit the theme.

Known locations

  • Pleasure Valley
  • Intercourse
  • Lusthaven
  • Warmbottom
  • Wetbush
  • Humping
  • Cumswallow
  • Nude Beach
  • Waterbed
  • Fapping
  • Boink City
  • Dildo
  • Cumtown
  • Cockgrope
  • Thighgap

Government

The planet is overseen by a council of twelve elected members, made up of six Delos and six Foozles.

Boink City is the capital, and the seat of government.

The government resides in a central tower known as The Rubicon. This building also houses the central command for the Boink Guard, and the garage bay housing Starship Awesome.

Membership In The Stellar Alliance

The government of Boink are active members of the Stellar Alliance, a galaxy-wide United Nations style federation of planetary governments. Their membership to the Alliance was sponsored by two races from two other member worlds: The Gravs of Grav'Navar and the Sylissians of Syliss.

Boink is represented within the Alliance by a number of diplomats, ambassadors and other dignitaries.

Known Ambassadors

Economy

Boink operates as a post-scarcity, socialist utopia.

Boink officially uses galactic credits as currency, however the ready supply of pre-made buildings left over from the previous owners created ample housing, which the government provides for free to any Foozle or Delos who needs a home. Replicator systems ensure that any material need is provided for, from food to personal items. Furthermore, Boink utilizes a Universal Basic Income funded by planetary exports and patents, with each citizen receiving a regular payment from the government, that they can use however they see fit.

There are also many establishments in the more touristy areas operated by the government to attract money from visitors to the planet. The operating costs for these businesses are handled by the government. They are largely staffed by automatic systems and robots, with a few scattered locals who excel in and enjoy performing their own specialized skills for an appreciative audience, such as cooking, dancing, or singing. All proceeds from these businesses go into the public fund.

The way that the planet operates therefore allows the public to indulge in and chase their passions without the interference of the need to scrounge for basic survival. This has led to a joyful and relaxed population and an uplifting of their society with Boink's artists, musicians, performers, chefs, designers, architects, storytellers, poets and other creative types leading the way into a new galactic cultural renaissance.

Industry

It should be no surprise that while there are the usual shops, restaurants and other businesses one would expect on a developed planet, the major industries on Boink are sex-based, with galaxy-wide patents and exports forming a primary source of income for the world and its population.

Known Boink Industries and Products

  • Lewb: a sexual lubricant available in a wide variety of formulations and flavors
  • Boink-A-Bear Sex Shop: a do-it-yourself store that allows customers to create custom teddy-bear and plushtoy shaped sexbots
  • Irata Games: a videogame company that specialises in adults only games and arcade machines
  • Vektron Video: a studio creating adult films and videos featuring Foozles and Delos
  • Porno Hut: a chain of franchised sex shops that operate on planets across the galaxy
  • Wet Dream: a drug cocktail and aphrodisiac used both recreationally and at the Galactic Fertility Bank to stimulate donors
  • Whet: a company specialising in colorfast hair and fur dyes

One interesting gap in all this sexual business is the industry of prostitution. While prostitution itself isn't outlawed, it also has failed to find an audience or clientbase, owing to the ready availability of free and willing sexual partners worldwide.

Moon

Boink has one moon, of a size and orbit comparable to that of the Earth. This is not by accident.

Although it is a natural satellite, during the time that Boink was operating as the resort planet Xaria, Starlight Industries had this moon custom sculpted into a 1-to-1 scale copy of Earth's moon, after it was determined that this moon was of the same basic composition and mass. All surface features were laser-etched to within 1/100 of an inch accuracy, and the orbital trajectory and spin were shifted into the same as that of Earth's Moon, allowing for regular Earth-style tidal action upon Xaria's oceans. This gave the planet what was then-described as a more "Romantic, visually appealing moon" visible in the night sky, as well as "Classic Surf Conditions" on the beaches.

Despite the moon's slightly artificial status, regular study by Boink Guard's science division shows that its orbit is regular and steady.

During the time that Boink was operated as Xaria, The moon was only referred to as "The Moon." When the Foozles became the new owners, the Moon's name was re-registered as "Luna." However, this name was not chosen to refer to Earth's moon, but instead to the My Little Pony character.

Boink Guard maintains a lunar base used for Astronomical science and planetary security on the dark side of the moon, as well as a shipyard for building starships. There are also touristy areas with hotels, low gravity entertainments of both the sexual and non-sexual variety, and arenas for sporting events such as Zero-G Foozball. The majority of these areas feature artificial gravity, with the moon's own low-gravity used as a feature only in select areas.

References