Boink Guard

A Boink Guard recruitment poster.

Boink Guard is the force responsible for planetary and solar system security in the Boink system. They oversee various space stations, spaceports and starships under the designation of Boink Fleet, as well as patrol the planet's surface through a division known as the Help Staff. Their science division also does some space exploration.

Uniforms

Boink Guard uniforms consist of a collar and sometimes briefs and top, with the color denoting service branch. Boink Guard is just as clothing-optional as the rest of Boink society.

Collar

The Boink Guard uniform collar is technically all that is required for a service member to be in uniform. The collar contains a communicator, 360 degree holographic imaging system that functions as a camera, and a personal-defense forcefield. Rank pips are also worn on the collar.

Briefs and Top

The briefs and top are worn primarily for the benefit of other races. Both articles are designed to be easy to slip on and off and are unisex and stretchy, to accommodate Foozle gender changing.

Operational Divisions

Command

Members of the Command career track, such as starship captains, first officers, and tactical officers, have magenta uniforms. If you want to know who's in charge, look for the magenta collar with the most impressive array of rank pips.

Engineering

Members of the Engineering career track wear teal uniforms and often have additional bracers and shin guards with pockets and tools kept handy. The stereotypical Boink Guard Engineer is a Delos, though there doesn't seem to be any particular reason for that other than recruitment posters and entertainment media.

Medical

The medical division wear light blue uniforms, and are trained to oversee and maintain the health and mental well-being of their fellow crewmates, with an eye towards the special needs of a group of sentient, self-propelled sex toys, and also of those who routinely come into contact with them.

Helpmate

The Helpmate branch is unique to Boink's defense service. Helpmates have safety-yellow uniforms and tend to wear a visor and are more likely to be wearing the briefs, top, or both than other service branches. The bright color is to make it easy for any member of the public to locate them when needed.

Service Branches

There are two primary service branches within Boink Guard, the first being Boink Fleet, and the second, the Help Staff. Although they could be likened to the military, in the case of Boink Fleet, or the police, in the case of the Help Staff, neither comparison is entirely apt. Further, the two branches do not act as entirely separate entities, but rather as two components of a greater whole.

Boink Fleet

Boink Fleet oversees all space-related matters, and is staffed exclusively with members of the Command, Engineering and Medical Divisions. They maintain and staff the floating orbital platforms around the planet, as well as a fleet of starships. Apart from maintaining the security and safety of Boink's solar system, they also perform scientific missions of exploration and discovery.

Help Staff

The Help Staff operate exclusively upon the surface of Boink. There, they operate something like a cross between hotel concierge and lifeguards. Their duties involve providing information and assistance to the public, and maintaining the peace. Most public locations have a public Help Staff booth where members are always on duty, day or night, ready and eager to assist or provide information to anyone in need. They carry no weapons, but they are also in constant contact with an orbiting space station so they may coordinate their movements and actions, and make sure the peace is kept by guests visiting Boink. To combat disturbance of the peace, or in extreme cases of violent behavior by a member of the public, Help Staff are authorized to call for teleportation of identified miscreants into a holding cell. Any person who the Help Staff feel the need to remove will wait in custody while the holographic recordings of their actions (taken by the neckbands of Help Staff) are reviewed for further actions. These further actions may include reprimand, fine, or in extreme cases, expulsion from the system, and handoff to Stellar Alliance authorities for criminal sentencing.

If Boink can be likened to an recreational park, then the Help Staff are the park employees whose duty is to see that everything remains running smoothly so that everybody who visits is happy.

Theatre of Operation

Boink Guard is primarily concerned with keeping the peace and providing security in and around Boink and its solar system. The nature of Boink's economy means that appropriations bills are not fought over in a public legislature, and therefore the exact force mix employed is kept secret quite effectively. It is known that Boink Guard ships tend to be well lit and have enough personnel space to avoid crowding.